I feel terrible when I get home from work and reach out for her and she doesnt want to come with me, we have so much fun together! I work Monday-Friday from 830 am to 515 pm , i want to move alone with her to see if she gets a little attached to me, but its hard.. If there is anything I can do to change this me let me know?I love my son so much I dont know what I did to him for him to start this. So worried he is forgeting about me. And as being the preferred caretaker at the moment, your mom can help you a lot by firmly handing over your daughter to you at certain points. I have come on to this site to read these postings a couple times over the past couple months and while I am relieved to see that I am not the only one, I want to know why this is happening? she cries for grand mother . It has been 37 years and we are not close. I feel like a failure when it comes to being a mom. When daddy is the bored or tired of this the he conveniently disappears and I take over. In 2019, the labor force participation rate for women was 57.4%, compared with 69.2% for men, according to data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS). thank you for writing tips on coping. She is having a tough time, but please let her know that this really is a normal development stage. Instead of turning your relationship into a power struggle, (trying to make him say mommy, for example), be proud of how much you have helped him to grow already! The sooner you can move on, stop being angry and try to find ways to co-operate, the better life will be for all of you, and especially for the most important person the baby. For a few weeks before my mat leave ended, I let myself soak in all the pre-emptive nostalgia, mourning all of our "lasts": our last mat-leave breakfast, our last mat-leave walk, our last mat-leave . She even goes to our maid servent and she is so happy if she sees her. Im a very good mom, so why doesnt she see that? I was born to an ignorant mother who failed to nurture me. He gets really upset when Daddy leaves the room. Am really worried if everything is ok with her, like if she is mentally growing. Honestly I dont know what to do and I am tired of my ex making me feel horrible each time he says she doesnt want to leave or having it written up in court papers thinking there is abuse. My Mil also doesnt treat me well and still my child goes to her unknowingly. My daughter prefers my mother, as she looks after her while Im at college. my love for her isnt based on her feelings for meeven though reciprocation would be nice. If a baby won't take a bottle, and is becoming anxious even at the sight of one, it may help to disguise it in some way. (And by all means, get the same kind of time alone with your three year old too!). Your baby will not feel abandoned by you when you return to work. Try "introducing the mouth to the bottle" rather than trying to get the baby to drink. Its just so strange I dont know what to do!! She adores me but her daddy not so much. She still prefers other people and doesnt seem to care for any of her own kin.not even her sister or brother, uncles, etc. But she preferred to be cuddled by my mom instead. I guess maybe now i feel like maybe he knows that I didnt want him at first because he has always been a little distant with me since he was born. Her father does go out a lot with her on his days but I do not drive and all we do is stay at home. You are obviously there for your son. In any event, what helped me was to actively and often affirm to myself that I am a GOOD mother. I have a 7 month daugher that doesnt seen to want me. but around the age of 8 or 9 months she just would prefer other peopleshe would go with anyoneI was hurt and devastated. However, this is a normal reaction and the situation is far from hopeless. After her leather boots and Gucci throw shopping spree she was obviously not able to pay her rent. Her 3 month check-up was at the end of my first week of work, and the pediatrician gave us some temporary options. When he was 4-6 mos, a friend was holding him and he didnt want to come back to me when I asked for him. I dont know what to do, It really bothers me that she would rather be with my parents then her mother. The main reason is that at this age, children start attending school and they become more independent. He may be more accepting of it if he is not crazy hungry. Recently, ive had the exact same problem with my 16 month old baby, after i took 3 months off work and back to work a month ago. Really make sure that you put away all your worried, frustrated feelings when interacting with your daughter. Help?? My mom stayed with me for the first four months to help me out. Which just doesnt help at all! He loves her and often she is so mean that he gets his feelings hurt. It really hurts. Thank you SO much for writing about this!! Sep. 5, 2016. He is the best dad Ive ever seen (aside from my father) and always had his daughter for a few days a week straight since she was born. I am so confused and sad. A new baby has arrived, and mom is busy being a mom! She is my first child and she is the most pleasant little thing ever so I dont understand why she doesnt all of the sudden not want nothing to do with me. Ive experienced this rejection since she is about 3 months old, but it is now that she expresses herself that it is really affecting me and I just dont know how to cope with it anymore. She seems to have the same behavior with my wife too. She also wont let me give her the bedtime bottle- she screams- it has to be done by Daddy. My mom realizes and tries to reduce it a little, but to no avail. should i stop my caregiver from sleeping next to her to maybe stop them from being too close? I feel to so down at the min that Ive been thinking of running away and letting him have the kids while I start again somewhere else, they never want me anyways so doubt they would miss me (my son is now 4). You can read more about baby development at different months here. Though it is nice to know Im not the only one to suffer from a similar situation, it doesnt solve it. Do you think itll pass? From the day he was born (and Im his birth mother for heavens sake!) lately, i feel so depressed and down, because my boys seem to prefer they nannies over me. If your baby was nursing well and suddenly refuses your breast, this may be what some call a . Best of luck. If grandad isnt there he wants to no me but if he is there he just blanks me, i try my hardest to try get his attention with no luck he just ignores me & blanks me. According the U.S. Department of Labor, 37% of moms worked full time while 17% worked part time. Give your baby extra cuddles, touches, and comfort. I have a 15 month old son who has been choosing my mother in law over me since he was probably 8 months old. Place baby on mom's tummy, in the water. Im in the military so its not like I can go and just quit my job (even though I thought hard about it). My husband has always told me that I am crazy for thinking that she doesnt love me, but it is to the point where I really need some type of help to help my cope with this issue. But it can take some time to start enjoying the ride ;-) It breaks my heart and I consider just leaving her. It hurts to see my mother be the preferred one when I try just has hard to be noticed! And the fact that your daughter is now fussy eater may have absolutely nothing to do with those difficult times. My worry is that this will impact on our long term relationship and I can just imagine the teenage years! My mother says she must feel secure with me and to be happy she has such a good relationship with her fatherand I am. Breast refusal tip #8: Try a different feeding position. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment, and then cry, laugh, journal or call a friend. Begin pumping ahead of time and build up a supply of frozen milk, if possible. I am really shattered. But as soon as Daddy is home, I really become part of the furniture. It will pass. To help us both my Mom moved in and now stays home with my daughter while I work. Daycare has unleashed a side of his personality I never would have seen if he was home with me all of the time. My baby was very attached to me but now she doesnt love me at all, she only wants my mother, she even calls her mama and she doesnt call me anything, she only wants to be with her , when she is sick or not sick, when she is sleepy etc She cries when my mom goes out and when my mom comes home she gets very happy and runs to her, i have cried every night for the past 2 weeks it hurts me so bad to see her not loving me, on the weekends i go out with her alone trying to spend more time with her, but its doesnt work at all!!!! But those 6 weeks were rough for everyone involved, and baby's gotta eat! When you get back, you're still the #1 mom. For many adopted children, it certainly IS different t be adopted. Many parents do just the opposite, scheduling an early afternoon nap so that baby will go to bed early, leaving more couple-time in the evening. So once him and I began dating his daughters mother began using the daughter as leverage to get things in return for him to spend time with his daughter. I dont know what to do. But I see no end to this..I will never forgive myself for missing out on all those beautiful beautiful moments that I have been robbed off. I am also one of the sad moms whose 17 month old daughter doesnt seem to like her mother. Lessons to Learn From the Above Quote. So much for breastfeeding and bonding. Take naps together, take a bath together, just go down on the floor (if it isnt too uncomfortable) and play together. I have a 14.5 month old baby girl. I bathe with her, I nurse her, I stay up with her in the wee hours of the night, I sing to her, I play with her, I carry her, I feed her, I change her I cannot fathom how she could possible love her caregiver or father more than me. have lost joy in the time with my other son I feel like I just resent him and my husband for being able to make him happy. I feel so much for you! Mine is something similar. But sometimes it seems like I dont even compare to Grandma!! And when were playing all together on the floor he always goes to her over me. It sounds to me as if you really want the best for your son, but that you are to some extent in a vicious circle. I am a social worker and therefore I know all about attachment patterns and I just cant work this one out. It took me a while to get into the groove of motherhood not sure whether it was my age, post partum? He was born September 2 of last year and I was lucky enough to be able to spend all this time with him. A very sleepy baby may accept a bottle without even realizing it, so if your baby's resisting, try slipping in that target near the end of a nap, when she's still half asleep. When you spend time with your baby, make it 'quality' time . do my twins love me less? 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