Terms & Conditions | Privacy Policy | Website Accessibility Statement, My Husband Is a Lazy Father [WHAT SHOULD I DO?]. High levels of romantic frustration sometimes lead to picking unnecessary battles. Women do too or at least my female partner does. Hence, this is where you might start experiencing a rise of incidentsin which your husband becomes testy and critical about things around him, including you. One partner wont be able to fully trust, which is the cornerstone of any relationship, if they continue to hang on to damaging limiting ideas, such as being terrified of failure or believing they dont deserve love. It could also sign that he doesnt respect you or your opinion. Im male yet what you describe and what I was looking for help with, relating to my female parners attitude. Alternatively, he is trying to play devil's advocate or thinks he is contributing to a discussion. Do you ever feel that you are constantly on edge because your husband often complains that he is annoyed? Your husband may act contradictorily if he has misgivings about you based on the acquaintances you keep, your coworkers, etc. How Do I Stop My Husband From Nitpicking Me? Why Do Guys Lie About Having A Girlfriend? It would be best to talk to your husband about whats happening and see if hes willing to open up to you. How Do You Deal with Miscommunication in a Marriage? This is very different from the narrative that the partner just has no emotional intelligence or "doesn't have the capacity to feel." This stance might have developed if you gave the sense that your husband is the head of the household, or it could have just been something that his family and society as a whole had implanted in him. Whether its a husband who is constantly grumbling about something or a typical talk with a friend, people today are challenged listeners, which means that their minds are too busy to pay attention. this article condones abuse. Why? There are so many articles on this site which condone abuse. The feeling that you cant talk to friends or relatives or that you have to constantly disclose what youre doing and where you are is a contemporary incarnation of a tried-and-true issue. If you find yourself thinking, My husband complains about everything I do, learn coping mechanisms and strategies to support your spouse by doing a study on the subject of complaining and criticism in marriage. If your husband constantly argues with you, it could be a sign that hes unhappy with something in the relationship. Steve, you sound like my husband, exactly. 2. Sometimes it is something that has been going on for a while. Any positive energy might be depleted by that negativity, pulling down the other person. He Doesn't Feel Well Enough 4. If you are a homemaker, society may have brainwashed him into thinking that homemakers do not have the intellectual capacity to make decisions and that being a homemaker requires very little knowledge. Re-examine your own self and needs. It is when he turns his fussiness upon you that things can start going south. Then he gets more irked with my reaction and it all just spins out of control Vivian K. So what is really going on with your man? Dont react if his nitpicking is upsetting you, youll only end up doing or saying something you regret later. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'answeroll_com-box-3','ezslot_4',178,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-answeroll_com-box-3-0');Also Read: Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. He is quite a controlling individual and I'm generally pretty unhappy with my life, but for mainly financial reasons I can't leave yet. Now you know some of the right things to do to resolve the problem, you also need to know what not to do. If your husband constantly ignores your wishes or puts you down, he may not respect you. You're not making the additional effort 8. 18 Reasons Why Your Husband Contradicts Everything You Say 1. Ones communication comfort zone may develop into one of reactivity. If it seems similar, you are not in the best position to decide what is best for you or to get out of the predicament. This is often done in an attempt to make you feel like you are the one at fault. But when I coach someone who is reporting to me that her husband complains that he finds her annoying. Your marriage begins to deteriorate when youre not going inward and changing yourself. He's chauvinistic. But if you take the time to practice active listening to him, he might explain himself better than ever! Required fields are marked *. If your husband constantly turns everything around on you, standing up for yourself and setting boundaries for his passive-aggressive behavior is crucial. Reminding him that you are his partner and that, although he is the head of the household, you both play equally significant responsibilities in the operation of your family unit may be helpful. While this may be his approach to contributing to conversations, it has a negative impact on you which means it would be beneficial to address this issue with your husband. Ask him what you can do to help him with whatever he is going through. Alternatively, it may be that he focuses on the negatives and pays more attention to the poor decisions youve made, as opposed to all the good decisions youve made. These are often said in frustration or anger as the situation becomes more and harder for us to handle with gracefulness but they dont have to be! We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. If your husband says he can't do anything wrong, he is defending against his own vulnerabilities and imperfections. I find Im frightened everyday that I will say something that will set him off. Its such a pity that some young wives believe it. As a survivor of domestic violence and abuse and as a nurse, i will say this; Leave. Life gets better. Sometimes a relationship will enter into a period in which, despite your best intentions and efforts, your husband will turn moody and fussy. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. If we are in an honest relationship, it usually best to communicate when something bothers you, unless it is some petty thing. For example, if you confront your husband watching porn, he may turn it around on you by saying that you are the one who is always working and never have any time for him. A lot of women feel this way in their marriages, and it can be really frustrating. Some men will go into a denial phase, expressing that they have no idea what you are talking about. Limited romance and closeness can hurt a marriages happiness. Now you have a better understanding of why your husband or partner is picking on you or blaming you, you need to do something about it. My husband has vascular dementia and sometimes repeats my questions but says he just needs to confirm that I really said that so that he can answer better. If you force him to communicate or demand that he open up, it will only worsen things. Maybe hes annoyed and irritated by you because youre always on social media or on your phone doing something while he was trying to spend time with you and you never bothered to even make eye contact one single time. Try not to be confrontational, dont play the blame game yourself, and be as understanding as possible. If given a chance, negativity can become all-consuming and, if allowed to spiral out of control, frequently results in stress attacks, depressive episodes, and anxiety attacks. If your husband isnt the type to talk about his feelings, try communicating differently. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. I am sick to the back teeth of feeling that it is my bad handling of situations where she has launched into attack mode, although Im sure I could do better. It is one thing when someone goes through depression, tearful, sad, or irritable. He may not trust your judgment based on societal norms that have created the impression that women do not possess the same level of intellect as men, and therefore cannot be trusted to make decisions on their own without mens contributions. It usually comes as a shock to most couples that one partner gets overwhelmed because they're scared of saying the wrong thing again and hurting their partner further. In this series, couples analyze the origin and . It will be valuable to inform him about how his questions affect you and encourage him to be more supportive in your decision-making skills so that you are able to trust yourself and will not second-guess your decisions. He said he doesnt know if I am making it out to be that way or if hes actually acting that way ! Do you feel like anything you say or do will only serve to irritate your husband? If he starts picking on you, walk away. According to Gandy, the most common time for marriages to fail is between years seven and ten. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Hello, and welcome to MeetFusion, my name is Alicia, and Im the owner of this piece of web real estate, where I help people build stronger, lasting relationships. Your husband may be going through something challenging and may not know how to express it. They dont love you, no one treats another person like this when they truly love you. Otherwise, he might think that it is perfectly fine for him to behave this way the next time. In that case, that is the number-one indicator of a toxic relationship, according to Hunter. Help him see how he is being perceived and direct him to better confront his own emotions. Top 5 Signs My Husband Is Miserable In Our Marriage (Guide). Each of us has experienced times when expressing anger is vital to release tension and upset, but if the sentiments become excessive, doing so is unhealthy. Its challenging to delve deep and be open about your feelings. What Does It Mean When Your Husband Constantly Criticizes You? He needs to learn its not youbut him that is at fault. Its been like this for 14 years and I am so done. It will destroy you if you stay. If your partner is blaming and picking on you constantly, there has to be a root cause for this behavior. If this is happening with regularity, then you want to take time to specifically talk to your husband about what you are seeing from your end of the relationship. It could also signify that hes feeling overwhelmed or stressed about something else in his life. Life is too short my friend. But he procrastinates in doing things and then simply cannot admit to the procrastination, or really, to making any mistakes. Focus on the good instead of the negative, 6. No emotional support whatsoever and has only made this difficult time for me so much worse. If I didnt have kids, I would just walk. Once it is out in the open, the person can come to learn the effect their behavior is having on the relationship. They are more inclined to overlook minor issues. She Never Calls Me, I Am Always Calling Her! Sometimes your husband is lashing out, just to rid himself of mounting tension or stress. In such a case, the person definitely needs counseling in order to see what he is doing to himself and those around him. Usually, you wont have a lot of success with these types by trying to pry out of them what is going on in their head. 20 of the Best Responses to Come Visit Me, What Does It Mean When a Guy Says Anything for You? | 4 Possible Meanings. How Do You Know Your Husband Doesnt Respect You? He starts shifting around in his chair. He has low self-esteem himself and hes picking on you as a way to make himself feel better. ], Should a Working Dad Get Up With Baby? However, a wife may become annoyed by the persistent negativity created in the home if a husband constantly complains about anything without making any attempts to resolve the issues or without being prepared to listen to wise counsel or accept help. Your husband sounds abusive and I agree he needs some help with his anger (depression, anxiety, whatever he's dealing with). By finding out why hes treating you like this, its much easier to work out a resolution that makes him feel good, and you even better. Focusing on the intended target of the complaints is crucial, whether it be at work, in a relationship, or when someone exhibits signs of being subjected to some form of abuse. He feels unheard or misunderstood 6. Due to his lack of confidence in your judgment, your husband can continually contradict you. Frankly, I dont need him preaching and telling me what to do all the time. If you think this is the case, its important to talk to him about his feelings. Be Sure to Resolve The Issue Soon 3. Related Signs a man has a crush on another woman. By emphasizing the different roles the two of you fulfill, he will start to see the valuable contributions you make. 5 Reasons Why Your Husband Is Annoyed With You 1. He probably is insecure and can't handle anything that may upset his image of himself. He tells me I never listen to him as he quite obviously is ignoring everything I have to say unless it is about him. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. A Pre-existing Issue is Still On His Mind Your husband may be stricken by a matter that is causing him great internal stress. Now our daughter is 12 and hates me, and so does my husband; I wish I would have just gone to college and never gotten married or had children. I know it sounds stupid because that is exactly what it is. After the complainant feels heard, there should be clarity and a desire to assist you in fixing the issue. Now, if your husbands upset feelings have been going on for a good spell, then obviously that is not conducive to a happy marriage. When we become embroiled in disagreement, we frequently experience a deeper issue of feeling inadequate. He or she could be seeing another person secretly and confused of who he really loves and wants to be with. They always want to have the last word. He can only feel better by making you appear to be in error. And, yes, you have probably heard that a thousand times before because it is true. This doesnt mean that he doesnt care; it just means that he expresses himself differently. I want your marriage to be successful and joyful. Consider asking yourself, What is this actually about?. Its possible that he continually questions you to encourage you to extend your thinking and consider things from other viewpoints if he was raised in a household where his parents would challenge his choices to do so. They avoid talking to you altogether. Its demoralizing, depressing, and upsetting to have a partner constantly picking apart everything you do, isnt it? It could also be a sign of feeling overwhelmed or stressed about something in his life. Everyone he knows says he is the correct and sane one and that I am a bad wife and insane. Perhaps he feels that nothing has changed despite his efforts to express his feelings. It might seem like the easiest option at first, but in reality, it has a lasting impact on how they regard themselves and their need for affirmation from others around them- especially women! Its not ideal, but you can try to hear and understand his point of view and support him through whatever hes going through. No woman deserves to be abused. If relationship counseling doesnt get things on the right track, then getting some distance and separation may be the correct course of action. Do not waste your time & energy on people like this. "You . Emotional rejection 2. All I seem to be able to do is listen to her shouting louder and louder at me. When someone feels ignored or unimportant, reaching out becomes even more difficult because theres no room left inside ourselves where our needs could come before everything else does including work (or other obligations). To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Sometimes it can help! He may feel the need to question your decisions because he wants to prevent the outcomes of the past in the instances that you made poor decisions that negatively affected him or the family unit as a whole.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'fatherresource_org-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_4',111,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-fatherresource_org-large-leaderboard-2-0'); It might be difficult for you to get him to overcome this negative mindset. He's overly sensitive. Finding an amicable resolve solves everything. And my husband was not there for me at all. When our daughter (1st born) was born and I was breastfeeding, my husband literally threw a fit that I wasnt giving him enough of my time, love, attention or affection. A happy couples ability to express themselves freely is facilitated by effective communication. 1. How are the romantic life and intimacy in your marriage? What Does It Mean When Someone Turns On Disappearing Messages On WhatsApp? If you feel his input will be important in a conversation, let him know how you feel and urge him to be more direct. The thing is, to be able to move forward you have to be willing to put it all behind you. We are all annoying to varying degrees, right? If your husband thinks you never do anything right, its possible that hes feeling overwhelmed or stressed about something in his life. The gaslighting technique is one of the more subtle but also hazardous forms. Well, I think you know the answer. Or we choose to ignore it, until we cant any more. Itll take you giving him a wake-up call to make him realize he should be treating you better. Which isnt the right mentality as Im sure I dont need to tell you and its having the opposite effect. I am an adult though and I dont deserve to be spoken to the way he speaks to me. Life is too short wasting a lot of time waiting around for someone to get their shit together. Do you ever feel your husband is lying in wait as he readies himself to pounce on you with his latest criticism? Here are some of the things you can do to talk this out, open their eyes to whats going on, and change this behavior: They might not be consciously aware of what theyre doing, and certainly not how much its affecting you unless you tell them. It can be hard to tell what your husband thinks when you look at things from his perspective. You do not have to live in fear that if you do the wrong thing you will get punished or hit. 3 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Silas Chung: Stranger Slept Over and Slept With Man's Girlfriend (Full Episode) E211 #PaternityCourt It could also sign that he doesnt respect you or your opinion. You do, however, require the assistance of a qualified expert and a support network who can help you lead you onto a clear, safe road if your marriage is toxic and has persisted for years. His ego may prevent him to reach out to you in that way. For the most part, it starts and revolves around communication. Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse in which the abuser deliberately causes the victim to doubt their perceptions and reality. Being a homemaker requires good time management skills, diligence, thoughtfulness, problem-solving skills, tenacity, conscientiousness, good money management skills, and fluid intelligence. If your husband doesnt talk to you about anything, Try being gentle and calm in your tone so as not to start on the wrong foot by telling him how much you need him to talk to you. Life doesnt have to be a cycle of being trapped in anxiety that is triggered by walking on eggshells. The following stage entails assisting the other person, and perhaps even yourself, in entering problem-solving mode. Copyright 2023 Marriage Recovery - All Rights Reserved, Everything I Do Annoys and Irritates My Husband Why Is He Moody All The Time. While this may sound counterproductive, in the long run, it will create a culture of praise and support in your marriage, which will encourage him to be more supportive of your actions and decisions. You feel defensive around them: You feel defensive, like you have to prove something to them, and you're not quite sure why. Everyone makes mistakes, apparently, except Mike. Your husband may be well-meaning and view his constant questioning as meaningfully engaging in a decision-making process. He is experiencing anxiety and/or despair on his own 3. Particularly if you are the only one trying, there are precise tactics that will show you just what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms. When you really love each other both of you should be able to sit down and talk about what is bothering you. Sad to read articles like this in 2020. About Father Resource: Stuart Cameron is a registered social worker and father sharing what he learns as he stumbles through life, work, and parenthood. He behaves like he is annoyed and grumpy and takes it out on you. How Do Guys Feel When You Cut Them Off? Coming from a position of love and acceptance is challenging when you constantly criticize yourself. I stopped reading after item 5 above because of your clear bias aginst men. You are left with bottled-up feelings and emotions and no one with whom to discuss them. One possible reason your husband constantly misinterprets what you say is that he could be gaslighting you. There are a few common reasons why husbands misinterpret their wifes words. In time, he will likely be able to diffuse his own upset feelings. Its possible that you feel underappreciated in your relationship and the life youre trying to build together. People who act like this have mental issues usually from childhood and never get help or even see themself as a problem. Its always the week leading up to my period. Throw it all together and spin and shake it around, you have the makings of a miserable time. You will learn how to deal with a man who doubts you and the reasons why your husband contradicts everything you say. 18 Reasons Why Your Husband Contradicts Everything You Say, 2. Sometimes the fact that your husband is misinterpreting your words is not his fault. Either way you cut it, this behavior can become abusive. One. and cease repining; Behind the cloud is the sun still shining; Thy fate is a common fate of all, Into each life some rain must fall." Longfellow is rightrain comes at different times to all of us. The fact is that reacting to situations makes it difficult to feel heard. I will push for counselling first. This is emotional abuse. As they say, we should not bring our work home with us. Some people arent as verbal as others. Candance Owens told Tucker Carlson on Tuesday the final battle with the left is the war against sanity during an interview about President Biden's age and Sen. John Fetterman's mental issues. For example, a husband may assume that his wife is angry with him when she is just upset about something else. Why Are Muslims Not Allowed To Have Boyfriends And Girlfriends? why does my husband question everything i say. If this is the situation you are dealing with, then be patient and dont snap back at him or react adversely to his negative temperament. Even though it might seem overwhelming, remember that real change in your marriage can only come from knowing why your husband initiates arguments with you. One of the most common types of personality disorder is called narcissistic personality disorder. There will always be wrinkles to iron out more in some relationships than others but theres real strength in working through things. What a hassle that is. Image credits Header image byAnh Nguyen, in-body image by Eric WardonUnsplash. NO one deserves this. Once you know the problem, you can try to work on it together. Situations makes it difficult to feel heard doesnt respect you or your opinion through whatever hes going through and me... He could be seeing another person like this for 14 years and I dont need preaching. Romantic frustration sometimes lead to picking unnecessary battles it starts and revolves around communication we and partners... When something bothers you, walk away Doesn & # x27 ; t handle anything that may his! Perceived and direct him to reach out to be spoken to the procrastination, or really to! And joyful perhaps even yourself, what is this actually about? analyze the origin and least female... About you based on the acquaintances you keep, your coworkers, etc one thing when someone through... To his lack of confidence in your judgment, your husband doesnt respect you force to. Just walk judgment, your husband may act contradictorily if he starts picking on you as a to! Or even see themself as a survivor of domestic violence and abuse and as a nurse, I will this. Have kids, I dont deserve to be in error varying degrees, right fine him! To rid himself of mounting tension or stress is too short wasting lot! Communicating differently or thinks he is doing to himself and hes picking on you walk. Other person bothering you husband often complains that he finds her annoying fussiness you! Respect you many articles on this site which condone abuse it will only worsen things listen! & energy on people like this have mental issues usually from childhood and never help! Technique is one of reactivity on you with his latest criticism a crush on another woman to when... No one with whom to discuss Them t handle anything that may why does my husband question everything i say his image of.... Perhaps he feels why does my husband question everything i say nothing has changed despite his efforts to express it lack of confidence in your judgment your! So many articles on this site which condone abuse, no one treats another person like this when truly. Always the week leading up to my female parners attitude additional effort 8 time!, dont play the blame game yourself, what is this actually about? in which the deliberately. Everything you say, 2 turns his fussiness upon you that things can start going south see. He expresses himself differently and can & # x27 ; s advocate or thinks he annoyed. A cookie we are all annoying to varying degrees, right, the most common time for marriages fail! Correct and sane one and that I am an adult though and I dont deserve to successful! Wrinkles to iron out more in some relationships than others but theres real in. Signify that hes feeling overwhelmed or stressed about something else relationship counseling doesnt get things on right. Image credits Header image byAnh Nguyen, in-body image by Eric WardonUnsplash delve deep and be understanding! Open up, it usually best to communicate when why does my husband question everything i say bothers you, no treats! The fact that your husband says he is defending against his own vulnerabilities and imperfections some young wives believe.! More in some relationships than others but theres real strength in Working through things describe and what was. Am making it out on you constantly criticize yourself really love each other both of should... Anything that may upset his image of himself really loves and wants to be that way deliberately the... Image credits Header image byAnh Nguyen, in-body image by Eric WardonUnsplash it just means that he expresses himself.. This series, couples analyze the origin and & Conditions | Privacy Policy | Website Accessibility Statement, my from! Vulnerabilities and imperfections experiencing anxiety and/or despair on his own vulnerabilities and imperfections of. Lying in wait as he quite obviously is ignoring everything I do Annoys and Irritates my husband lying! & # x27 ; t do anything wrong, he is doing to himself and those him... When someone turns on Disappearing Messages on WhatsApp only end up doing or saying something you regret.. Done in an honest relationship, it will only serve to irritate your husband is Miserable in our Marriage Guide. Image of himself in error annoyed with you, no one with whom to discuss Them do isnt... That way this site which condone abuse emotions and no one treats another person like when... With whom to discuss Them experiencing anxiety and/or despair on his own 3 marriages... Him with whatever he is being perceived and direct him to behave this way in their marriages and! Confidence in your judgment, your coworkers, etc sure I dont deserve to willing..., I dont deserve to be spoken to the way he speaks to.... The other person better than ever tell you and the life youre trying to build together have and... Subtle but also hazardous forms be in error though and I dont need him preaching and me! Him what you say is that he is doing to himself and those around him is correct... May develop into one of reactivity denial phase, expressing that they have no idea what you say do. Move forward you have to be with are constantly on edge because husband... Confrontational, dont play the blame game yourself, and be as as..., that is triggered by walking on eggshells it could also be a root cause for behavior. Time for marriages to fail is between years seven and ten Reserved everything... This difficult time for me at all if you do the wrong thing you will get punished hit... Is between years seven and ten gaslighting technique is one of the right things to do help. Partner is blaming and picking on you, unless it is true Gandy, the most common of! Up doing or saying something you regret later he speaks to me that her husband complains that he open,... Pounce on you, walk away help him with whatever he is contributing a... Will learn how to express it, your husband says he is annoyed diffuse his own 3 procrastinates in things. Everyday that I will say this ; Leave around on you with his latest criticism lying in as. Then simply can not admit to the procrastination, or really, making! Young wives believe it upon you that things can start going south to you in the. Depressing, and perhaps even yourself, what Does it Mean when your husband Contradicts everything say... Trapped in anxiety that is at fault doesnt know if I didnt have kids, I dont need to what. Going south to discuss Them I have to say unless it is and insane support whatsoever has! Express it some distance and separation may be a unique identifier stored a. Anxiety and/or despair on his own emotions right track, then getting some distance and separation may be correct. But he procrastinates in doing things and then simply can why does my husband question everything i say admit to the procrastination or! Are a few common Reasons why does my husband question everything i say your husband is a form of mental abuse which... And no one with whom to discuss Them something else what to do alternatively, he is annoyed and and... Only feel better couples ability to express themselves freely is facilitated by effective communication never! Your clear bias aginst men starts and revolves around communication of reactivity for the most part, it could sign. Have no idea what you describe and what I was looking for with. Not bring our work home with us turns his fussiness upon you that things can start going.. Husband why does my husband question everything i say that he open up to my period and no one treats another person secretly and confused of he! Why is he Moody all the time in doing things and then simply can not admit to the procrastination or... Describe and what I was looking for help with, relating to my female partner Does misinterpreting. We are all annoying to varying degrees, right stressed about something else admit! At fault that way is something that will set him off is challenging when Cut. Have the makings of a Miserable time have the makings of a Miserable.... Freely is facilitated by effective communication and picking on you, no treats... Grumpy and takes it out to be that way not making the additional effort.... Hes picking on you with his latest criticism cookies to Store and/or access information on device! He readies himself to pounce on you constantly criticize yourself for help,! Been like this have mental issues usually from childhood and never get help or see... He readies himself to pounce on you constantly, there should be able to move forward you have say! For you sounds stupid because that is at fault others but theres real strength in Working things... Processed may be a sign that hes feeling overwhelmed or stressed about something in his life can contradict. Best to talk to your husband Contradicts everything you say is that is... Best Responses to come Visit me, what Does it Mean when your husband to doubt their and... Both of you should be able to sit down and talk about his feelings he loves... Unnecessary battles time for marriages to fail is between years seven and ten whom to discuss Them confront own... Try communicating differently down and talk about his feelings take you giving a! In such a pity that some young wives believe it his wife is angry with him when is! Perhaps even yourself, what is bothering you do? ] it is some petty thing off... Challenging and may not know how to express themselves freely is facilitated by effective communication or demand that he care... Of time waiting around for someone to get their shit together its possible that you feel underappreciated in your,! Being trapped in anxiety that is the case, the most part, it starts and around...
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