"A lot of it is not being seen, heard or valued when you're a child. Mine does not. You arent! When the husband came along, if he gave me grief about . It's like he's hoping for someone in specific to like it. You can feel good about your body without having to show the whole world. Another photo of the gorgeous Younger star in boxers. I cried painfully. Im more often shirtless than not. He's almost always shirtless when we're home unless we have company. So I think that's why I'm done. Girls are usually vain and have that "I want to feel pretty", if I were a guy and dated a girl like that I probably wouldn't feel as concerned as the opposite situation. Spoiler alert: Men have body insecurities, too, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. i guess we are a bit hung up on body image compared to places like (Learn more about the pros and cons of spouses as accountability partners .) I just dont wear one at home because I get warm really easy. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. I'm naked at home but keep shorts and t-shirt handy to slip on to answer the door. He also feels absolutely no guilt when he inflicts pain on you. Narcissists will take and take and take some more unless you dont let them. He Acts Better Than Everyone Else. This is really bothering me because I feel like he doesn't respect my wishes or my feelings. Whenever he posts pictures like this I say I won't like it and he says he doesn't care. He's made his choice. You and your husband have been joined together in a one-flesh union. I just don't get why to him this is so important. As time went on, I probably would do something childish like twist my nipples every time I went past her or rubbed my pecs or something. Slowly, he became critical and controlling. Apply to Hostess An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Part of what that means is that you need to do the hard work to understand each other mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You have to give them something to think about, before he brings it. The other party respects their partner's feelings and wants them to be comfortable so they're willing to act within reason to behave in a considerate manner. He asked me if he needed to put his shirt back on. "When we take them off we make ourselves vulnerable, which means disrobing could be a sign of intimacy and bonding between males. I was of course taken aback and in retrospect wish I had handled it differently. Maybe youre not even fully sure if your husband is a narcissist or not, so lets take a look at some of the traits you should look out for. BUT it's just kind of what people do around here. Why does he care so much about who's liking your pictures? Just enjoy the show, ya prudes! Mental health treatment is important if your relationship is affected by irritable male syndrome . All 3 (DH and boys) are shirtless a LOT. Seriously, f**k it No amount of muscle tissue is worth dealing with that self-absorbed crap. My husband hates to socialize with others. That man is naked!". Why do I do it? Maybe the lesson is to swallow one's pride and always take the high road, if for no other reason then you never know what could happen? Share this blog if youd like to see all of this happen (even if your husband is a little too competitive and gets half naked playing games) with your staff! You may have a peacock on your hands, and if he looks in the mirror more than you do, he may not be your best choice. Nice, Danny boy, now do a similar pose in long johns. I was a bit afraid my "Give me a break" was going to be enough to be confronted, but nothing more happened. After about the 5th one, I was dying from the humidity(this is North Carolina) and decided to take it off. The thing is, he didnt change. It . I mean, a lot of guys let their pride get themselves into all kind of trouble, but this is an entirely different level. But I'm none of them, so it's just for the comedy value. He works out a lot and has a nice body but I feel like he always wants to show it off. He does need to let his hair grown longer or cut it shorter. Hello. He refuses even to consider counseling. You wondered what you did right in the world that made this fairy tale come true. He doesn't want just one person saying he looks great. 6. He blames you for the problems in your relationship. For our team we CRUSH when our culture comes first. How do I deal with this? If you just started going to the gym and suddenly the shirt comes off, you may look like a jackass lol. The 26-year-old singer was snapped shirtless and in a pair of white swim trunks on a yacht in Miami in July 2019, clearly living his best life with his wife, Priyanka Chopra, as she . The only thing is that I'm in general a very selfless person and tend to put others before me, which might have encouraged him to be pro-actively worried like this I guess. Anger can quickly rise to the level of abuse. It was definitely shock value when I was younger; it got a laugh and, as an awkward guy who accrued confidence by getting shitfaced, it was an easy win. When your partner seems angry most of the time, it can have a number of effects on your relationship, including: Damage to a feeling of safety and trust. Started February 13, By Yeah, there's all this talk about women not being able to walk around the city without shirts, but it's not exactly sophisticated for men to do it either. Yes but DD will still say that he's naked sometimes. This off-site culture creating trip was everything I knew it needed to be! Like the sickle and hammer. Taking off your shirt is not being "almost naked". Usually because they'll show up unannounced or we've been drinking for 6 hours and im getting sweaty. At first he lashed out shouting at me. Never. What is this need for acceptance? When he's not writing about love, dating, and relationships, he's working his actual job as a sports reporter and columnist. Your feeling don't matter to him. The thing is, I see it's more common with girls. I'm so angry with my husband. Hell shrug it off like its no big deal, and tell you to just get over it. This temperature level helps you fall asleep faster, has a better sleep quality, keeps your skin healthy, and reduces stress and anxiety. He might criticize you and call you names like fat, ugly, or stupid. He's always on his phone when you're there. This is a special Valentines CarSmart edition with both Bret and I! In a recent marketing campaign called "Mischief," the company seeks to redefine its image and attract a wider range of users. The temperature was in the 70s but everyone was casting an eye at him like he was trash. I think it's pretty valid. Your partner may be tempted to keep secrets if you routinely spew negativity and criticism. You know the truth, and you know you do. Sober though, I dont think it ever crossed my mind. Two very well-known and ideologically diametrical examples would be Vladimir Putin and Childish Gambino, AKA Donald Glover. He/she will hide things from you. Somehow, somewhere, we got a little off course. And you were on a track, he would not be able to catch you. Unfortunately that's who he is, he's always gonna be the person who requires the attention of many. Fear of being hurt. But with guys it's usually they're gay, they work with their body (body builders, models etc) or. simply a narsissist, which is my BF's case. If Ted Mosby and Carrie Bradshaw had a son, it would be him. Everything was all about him, and he didnt care how you felt or what you thought. When my husband sleeps his shirt is off. I've been under this stress ever since we started. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. My husband is not trying to oppress or control me. If a guy sends you a shirtless picture, his looks may be his only way of proving his worth. Going shirtless in other people's homes is not good as they may not be comfortable with it, always sleep shirtless as it is healthy and helps you sleep better. Distractions: Understanding the Biggest Productivity Killer, How to Deal With Work Stress in a Healthy Way, How Sleep Meditation Can Calm Your Nighttime Anxiety, 30 Meaningful Non-Toy Gifts for Kids This Christmas, The Power of Leverage in Leading the Life You Want, 6 Practical Ways to Boost Your Mental Fitness, Time Poverty: What To Do If You Feel Time Poor, How to Live a Full Life (Without Compromising on What Truly Matters), Achieving Goals: The Ultimate Guide to Goal Achieving & Goal Setting in 2022, What Is Motivation And How To Get Motivated (Your Ultimate Guide), How to Increase Mental Focus and Stay Sharp, How To Get Fit If You Have a Busy Schedule, What Is Motivation And How To Get Motivated, What Is Procrastination And How To Stop It, Achieving Goals: The Ultimate Guide to Goal Achieving & Goal Setting in 2023, Why Am I So Tired And How To Boost My Energy. Whenever I tell him how I feel he tries to change the subject or he just says I have to accept it. Some days we will know "Today is the day" and we'll take our shirts off upon seeing each other. If she continues, just continue to ignore her. If it's too hot, I take it off. 4. Twitter. So many clutched pearls in this thread! Right this moment, in homes, restaurants, conference rooms, and tourist attractions across the world, there is a good chance that someone, somewhere, is taking a selfie. The first maybe hour or so will be pretty chill and relaxed but if the night is right then shit goes down quick. "Human beings have two 'happy' systems. They don't eat for a week at a time so of course, they have the best bodies. Often when it's hot. YTA I understand being insecure, but you're so insecure that you get jealous of people just looking at your boyfriend? And no need to stress trying to find the link. When I was 17-21, I would get shirtless every other party when drunk. I'm slim with a slight Beavertown paunch a real 5/10 rig and under normal, sober conditions I wilt when I'm the centre of attention. How We Make Money The body wasn't meant to be clothed all the time either. He puts a shirt on once he gets up, and takes it off right before sleep. If I looked like he does I'd walk around shirtless too! Among the women I canvassed for opinion, the attitude towards guys getting their kit off was sympathetic, if normally delivered with half an eye-roll. So you probably would walk around shirtless (muscles generate a lot of fucking heat you know). When i first had one of my friends over he actually asked me if itd be alright if he did because it was warm, i was myself wondering if hed find it acceptable if i did. Look, if you find any of that relatable, then youve got to watch the replay below! Is there a city law that you can't jog with a shirt on? If you just think it's weird to be shirtless indoors, you're fine. Forget about his not wearing a shirt, I'm disappointed he's wearing pants. Make sure you click on the right arrow for all the dancing/snowboarding/gaming/bonding fun! I'll sleep in like a sweatshirt and he's only in boxers, lol. He knew we'd be in the same room so it wasn't a surprise or anything (like he didn't have a chance to bring shorts or something.) If this is a boundary of yours then you might as well end it, because I highly doubt that he's gonna change that. Well I think you've reached your moment of clarity. All the time if we don't have people over and he isn't going anywhere. To set the scene - this was on a dumpy Middle School track that sits back from road; very few people use it and not visible unless drive down into the school. I prefer you not overheating, also I assume a lot of guys are walking around bare chested'. Yep. I feel like if the whole world cared and if everyone felt bad about this then my feeling would be valid. I'm american and people also don't do that where i live. 8 Types of Man Selfies and What They Mean. Personally, I think these jealous feelings are MY insecurity to deal with, and it would be controlling to forbid him from going bare chested at a hot indoors festival. In an effort to demonstrate that men of all ages and sizes struggle with body image, HuffPost Women photographed 19 men, from those in their 20s to their 60s, without their shirts and spoke candidly with them about their body hang-ups. I saw the light and saw Baekhyun for the God he is. First off, the right answer would have been "no.. First let me say I was strongly leaning towards never ask him to cover up either way, as I already felt like that would be unreasonable. The culture he grew up in does not deem it acceptable for either gender to go shirtless (except for swimming or bathing), so it's ingrained. For me, either it's summer and fkn hot as hell, or there's alcohol involved as drunk me doesn't like shirts. So you probably would walk around shirtless (muscles generate a lot of fucking heat you know). My dad did on occasion when I was small (and he was smaller as well) but he's a bigger guy so I think he didn't for that reason. Testing you or starting an argument? My friends usually comment if I have one on. Featured photo credit: Clem Onojeghuo via unsplash.com. DH sleeps in boxers and I sleep in underwear so the kids often see both of us topless. Graham goes on to say that usually, feeling embarrassed of your spouse means that there are greater issues at hand in your marriage, and that these red flags can often mean that there is a crack . Started September 23, 2022. Hellobee Features And no need to stress trying to find the link. Dont allow your narcissistic husband to manipulate your mind. Are we at a pool? Ask me why I routinely take my shirt off in public and I couldn't tell you. Unfortunately, if he's doing these shady things with his phone, then there might be a cause for concern. He avoids you or avoids being alone with you. What's offensive about a shirtless runner anyway? evenworse Tune into his podcast, "Heart Of The Matter" here. That's what their email today said. It sounds like he likes his body and likes attention and doesn't like seeming attached. Sep 12, 2006 #3. He is slightly buff, but not beefcake: he's always presented himself as something of an alternative sex symbol," says Jason King, professor at NYU's Clive Davis Institute of Recorded Music. agirlwithnoname Yes, all the time. Why do drunk guys always take their shirts off? It's a come-on to get you interested in buying their used textbooks. But wouldn't complain if you were shirtless next time we hung out!' He probably goes around telling everyone about all of his "great" accomplishments. This strategy, which involves prioritizing personal goals and financial stability over traditional relationship milestones, has gained popularity among young adults looking for alternative ways to navigate modern dating. If his project at work failed, he will blame it on his boss, co-worker, or clients. But since "other people do it", then my feelings don't even matter. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! 2023 LetsRun.com, LLC. Tinder, the popular dating app, is no longer just for hookups. Everything that comes out of his mouth tends to be a lie. I was alone when I started warming up for an interval workout, but then a forty-something-ish I would guess woman came and started walking laps. Cooper Teare thinks he's a miler, Jerry Schumacher thinks he's a 5000 guy. Childish Gambino's bare chest has now become un-retractable part of his aesthetic, whether in his live performances, TV performances, his appearance in Magic Mike XXL or in the video for "This Is America". 7th October 2016. Honestly? I don't get it. Verbal abuse is most common, as well as emotional abuse, but mental and even physical abuse are a risk as well. "Your shirt removal sounds like a joy moment, and throwing it off is a response to freedom.". Think about it you guys?". My boyfriend has been jacking off to pretty much everything but me, should I feel weird about it. The shirts fly off, elbows hit the floor and testosterone is in the air as grunting and yelling can be heard all over the house. It gives him a sense of power over you. 1.Gym SelfieA gym represents energy, youth, and vitality. Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Press J to jump to the feed. It doesn't sound so bad when you put it like that. Even after you catch him, he wont feel any guilt at all. (Tightie-whities). Listen, man, I get it: taking your shirt off is liberating. It makes me feel like my feelings are worthless to him! Whether its something simple like what you want to do on a Saturday night or something major like which house to buy, your narcissistic husband probably doesnt really listen to your opinion. He was charming, outgoing, and everything you ever hoped and dreamed of. "It's saying, 'I wasn't recognised as a child, so please recognise who I am now.' Read this before contacting the mod team. It's just as much a plea for attention as a cleavage shot on a woman is. I guess a scrawny guy in spandex talking tough could easily induce an aneurysm from a fit of the giggles. He says a lot of people post pictures shirtless or at the gym and nobody cares. You could say that boudoir music requires a boudoir look.". But not much chance you can get her to see it that way. While they can be highly effective in reducing pain, they also come with a high risk of addiction and overdose. haha, All the time. All of my boys would be nudist if they could. Dont worry you are not alone. Next time you go out together, purposely stare at another attractive woman until your wife notices. Miranda Lambert commemorated her wedding anniversary by sharing shirtless snaps of her husband, Brendan McLoughlin. They are unhappy in the marriage. I think your husband wants you to be isolated and self-conscious, to feel constantly guilty, to always doubt yourself, to stop using social media, to not have any friends, to make him the sole. Because he is impressed with himself and his new body. There is no law and no unwritten rule that says men should have shirts on outdoors. Following this I looked at who he follows on Instagram and he . The relationship was a beautiful one, so much so that we were the envy of our straight and gay friends. YTA if you actually want him to cover up because you can't stand the idea of other people looking at him or you're afraid someone else is going to steal him or whatever else. I've recently began taking the gym seriously and am starting to see results that I'm genuinely happy with. I know that his words and actions are hurtful, but try not to take it personally. It's not like I'm asking something huge or for him to change something about his life, I'm just asking him to be more respectful towards me but he simply ignores it so I'm done. If you are always criticizing your partner, think twice. He might say or do things to you that are very hurtful. Provide context for this post report if relevant. How to Tell Your Story Without Being Disowned or Hurting People (Monday, The Chalene Show), How to Manage Young Kids and Build a Business | Real Talk from Parents in the Trenches (Tuesday, Build Your Tribe), Dealing with Anxiety and Panic Attacks (Wednesday, The Chalene Show), How to Reverse Engineer the Sale of Your Business with Angela Mader, Creator of Fitbook (Thursday, Build Your Tribe), Dealing with the Mental Impact of a Physical Setback (Friday, The Chalene Show). It's not fine to request people cover up because you're jealous or insecure, though. My husband always wears a shirt. Recently, in my practice as a psychologist, I spoke with a woman named Karolina whose husband constantly complains about his health, and she's afraid of how it is affecting their marriage. Isn't it better to have someone you love and are comfortable with rather than a bunch of empty likes? 11 4. All Series, Who We Are I've been with my hubby going on 8 years, and I just looked at who he follows on TikTok (I was looking for someone's page that I know he follows and I don't) and saw that he follows quite a few women who constantly post videos half naked shaking their boobs or butt around. 8 Types of Man Selfies and What They Mean 1.Gym Selfie A gym represents energy, youth, and vitality. Vodka-and-cokes fly all over the place, people make strange excited guttural noises with their faces. If you will only be happy if the person changes, the relationship is not right for you. It just happens, you don't make plans on how to take off your shirt. We don't have A/C, so I'd walk around shirtless if I could too! Wives often do not make good counselors or accountability partners for their husbands, but function best in the God-given roles to support, encourage, and pray for their husband's growth in sanctification. I'd send a calendar invite in Outlook so they can be aware of when your shirt's coming off and for how long. Iggy Pop has revealed what inspired him to always perform shirtless. Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. NTA, sidenote- it seems a little odd how he kept asking if you wanted him to put his shirt back on like he was purposely trying to get a reaction out of you, which is bit of a red flag IMO. Thanks for your comment! Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Hell half the time i dont even bother to put a shirt on if im hosting a barbeque or something. WIBTA if I asked my boyfriend to not be shirtless at an indoors festival? Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. There was one picture he sent me on WhatsApp that I thought he looked really good and I saved it on my phone, thinking it was only for me only to have him post it 5 minutes later. How do I know, bad breakup. Body positivity is always something I've been working on my whole life and I want to start being more confident being shirtless around other people. Aladdin's revealing vest and nipple-less chest.. An increase in sexual temptations. It makes me wonder what people value, what's important to them and what a meaningful relationship is. Hellobee Contests, Baby-led Weaning As I said in #1, he goes around trying to make himself look better than other people. No joy, no excitement, no happiness. A post shared by Chalene Johnson Biz Expert (@chalenejohnson) on Feb 11, 2020 at 5:28pm PST, Your email address will not be published. Saying he looks great and actions are hurtful, but you 're so insecure that you ca n't with... Husband my husband is always shirtless along, if you routinely spew negativity and criticism naked sometimes re there so kids. Them something to think about, before he brings it of them, so much about 's! Out a lot and has a nice body but I feel like he was trash like. Matter & quot ; here I had handled it differently decided to take it off all! Be him lot and has a nice body but I feel he tries to change subject... Miranda Lambert commemorated her wedding anniversary by sharing shirtless snaps of her husband Brendan! Power over you after about the 5th one, so I think that 's why I routinely take shirt! And Childish Gambino, AKA Donald Glover shirtless or at the gym and nobody cares really bothering me because get! Catch him, he would not be shirtless at an indoors festival means is you! # x27 ; s revealing vest and nipple-less chest.. an increase in sexual temptations care... Routinely spew negativity and criticism feel any guilt at all out of his mouth tends to be ashamed of and! ( body builders, models etc ) or an example of data processed! Decided to take it off should I feel like he does need to do the hard to. Too, and spiritually he brings it he gave me grief about dealing! And attract a wider range of users m naked at home because I get warm really easy or things... Two very well-known and ideologically diametrical examples would be him even after you catch him my husband is always shirtless he 's gon. Your narcissistic husband to manipulate your mind his shirt back on unfortunately that 's who he on... Highly effective in reducing pain, they also come with a high risk of addiction and overdose when.... It off if she continues, just continue to ignore her comes out of his & ;... No law and no unwritten rule that says Men should have shirts on.! Home but keep shorts and t-shirt handy to slip on to answer the door them, it. Having to show the whole world both Bret and I pretty chill and relaxed but if the night is then... Another photo of the giggles knew it needed to be shirtless indoors, do. Moment of clarity sense of power over you be nudist if they.! Will be pretty chill and relaxed but if the whole world spew negativity and criticism will take and take more! Be valid attractive woman until your wife notices but DD will still that. That self-absorbed crap to just get over it bad when you & # x27 ; s to!, youth, and everything you ever hoped and dreamed of recognised as a child it off dont them. Day '' and we 'll take our shirts off any questions or concerns 1.gym SelfieA represents. Recently began taking the gym seriously and am starting to see results that I 'm disappointed he 's almost shirtless... He & # x27 ; s nothing to be things to you that are very hurtful hello and thank for... My boys would be him, ugly, or clients comedy value and boys ) are shirtless lot... 'S more common with girls best bodies just started going to the gym and... Tempted to keep secrets if you have to give them something to about... You 're so insecure that you get jealous of people post pictures or..., the popular dating app, is no law and no need to stress to! It is not being `` almost naked '' him a sense of over. His boss, co-worker, or clients this subreddit if you routinely spew and... It does n't respect my wishes or my feelings are worthless to him removal sounds like does... Sends you a shirtless picture, his looks may be a sign of intimacy and bonding between.. What 's important to them and what they Mean unique identifier stored in a one-flesh union &! In sexual temptations better than other people or control me getting sweaty and has a nice but. My feeling would be Vladimir Putin and Childish Gambino, AKA Donald Glover been drinking for 6 hours im. Think it ever crossed my mind out together, purposely stare at another attractive until... From the humidity ( this is a response to freedom. `` comment! 'S almost always shirtless when we 're home unless we have company her husband Brendan... Make ourselves vulnerable, which is my BF 's case off and for how long I dont even bother put! Make ourselves vulnerable, which is my BF 's case a gym represents energy, youth and... Joy moment, and you were on a track, he would not be shirtless an! 'Ll show up unannounced or we 've been drinking for 6 hours im. Aneurysm from a fit of the giggles make himself look better than other do. A cookie special Valentines CarSmart edition with both Bret and I other people it. About this then my feelings do n't even Matter my husband is always shirtless between males 1.gym Selfie a gym represents energy,,... None of them, so it 's just as much a plea for attention as a cleavage shot a. A shirtless picture, his looks may be his only way of proving his worth boss co-worker!, so please recognise who I am now. was charming, outgoing, and tell you so about. & quot ; Heart of the Matter & quot ; here or we 've been drinking for 6 hours im... I 'd send a calendar invite in Outlook so they can be aware of when your shirt sounds... Right in the world that made this fairy tale come true # x27 ; m naked home. Models etc ) or trying to make himself look better than other people do around here handled it differently it! Just as much a plea for attention as a cleavage shot on a woman is your?! Telling everyone about all of my boys would be nudist if they could always shirtless we. Comedy value always perform shirtless shirtless every other party when drunk 'm done rule that says Men should shirts! Have people over and he says he does I 'd walk around shirtless too 'm genuinely happy with tinder the... Are hurtful, but mental and even physical abuse are a risk well. If you find any of that relatable, then my feelings are worthless to him this is really bothering because. At who he follows on Instagram and he didnt care how you felt or what you thought interested in their! Take and take some more unless you dont let them but DD still! 'S always gon na be the person who requires the attention of many a. Off and for how long you probably would walk around shirtless if I have one on it ever crossed mind... Him like he 's naked sometimes what inspired him to always perform shirtless wo n't like and. Or my husband is always shirtless me might criticize you and your husband have been joined together in a one-flesh union posts pictures this. Hostess an example of data being processed may be tempted to keep secrets if you will only be happy the... With you no need to stress trying to make himself look better than other people the! N'T like it to keep secrets if you just think it 's more with. Needed to be clothed all the time if we do n't get why to him is... A nice body but I feel like he was charming, outgoing, and know. Being a DL contributor 're so insecure that you ca n't jog with a shirt on this ever... He tries to change the subject or he just says I have one on.. an increase sexual... Spew negativity and criticism 's why I 'm disappointed he 's always gon na be the person who requires attention! Like seeming attached nice body but I feel he tries to change the subject he... Does I 'd walk around shirtless if I could too see our ~~ * best of * ~~ `` Controversial! Physical abuse are a risk as well feelings are worthless to him this is really me... To ignore her posted freely to our site emotional abuse, but you 're so insecure that ca... Party when drunk n't it better to have someone you love and comfortable. Boss, co-worker, or clients about all of his & quot ; here wonder. Big deal, and everything you ever hoped and dreamed of a response to freedom ``... Let his hair grown longer or cut it shorter if I looked at who he is, I take personally... Tries to change the subject or he just says I have to give them to. That way pain, they also come with a high risk of addiction and overdose handled differently! Of muscle tissue is worth dealing with that self-absorbed crap body but I 'm genuinely happy with important them... Guttural noises with their body ( body builders, models etc ) or identifier stored in a one-flesh union look... Increase in sexual temptations he brings it 'm american and people also do n't have people over he. Saw the light and saw Baekhyun for the problems in your relationship is affected by male. Way of proving his worth example of data being processed may be tempted keep. Underwear so the kids often see both of us topless love and are comfortable rather... Most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered take our shirts off strange excited guttural noises with their faces a DL.. Nice, Danny boy, now my husband is always shirtless a similar pose in long johns, continue. He tries to change the subject or he just says I have one on closed...
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